Guilt

CRASH!!!!!  Oh my God. I just broke the window. How could I have been so stupid!? In my anger at being refused permission to watch the football game, passed over for my nine year old brother John who had been there first and had been watching cartoons, I had gone outside to throw sticks. Don’t ask me why, but it seemed like fun at the time. I just needed to throw something and release the irrational anger that swelled through my veins. But one carelessly thrown stick had crashed through the window, shattering it and making it take the shape of a giant spider web caught in a rainstorm. Images rush through my head. Images of the time in Nebraska when my brother Michele had played golf inside and broke a hole in my mom’s antique cabinet. He had been punished for three weeks and had to miss all the Corn Husker games for a month. That was the worst part. And the time when I had kicked a ball, and knocked a painting off the fire place and had been spanked so hard I cried for the whole night.

          I know what I should do. I should go inside and tell my parents what happened. That’s what Michele would have done. Damn him he would have done the right thing. But he wouldn’t have gotten into trouble for it. But I would.

          All I did was stand there, thinking of what might happen if I did tell the truth. Of course I wouldn’t get spanked again; I was far too big for that sort of crap. But I would be shamed. Here I was, the oldest boy in the family, a role model for my younger siblings, and I had just broken the window. They would take my money to pay for it, and I wouldn’t be able to go out this weekend. I didn’t say anything. I just went inside and pretended that nothing happened.

          The next day my dad was furious. He had found the window and wanted to know who broke it. He turned to me and said son, did you break this window? I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to be a man and tell him that it was me. That I was ready to take any punishment he would give me, because that’s what men do. But I didn’t.

          “No” I said, “I don’t know what happened.” They never figured it out. I never blamed anyone else for what I did, nobody ever got in trouble. The days went by and everyone forgot about the window. Someone came and fixed it, and it was over. I never told them.

          I don’t think I ever will.

Whisper of Heavan

“I hear a whisper

Its calling my name

In the twilight of Heaven I can never be the     same

Out in the meadow,

A pale moon it rises

Lighting the way

For the heart that is pure.

As the crow flies and the wolf cries

To the full harvest moon,

I look to the distance and I see you there…

I reach out to touch you in the still quiet air. 

Don’t ask how it came to pass,

For the wise may not know,

How this world turned to ash, as the prophets foretold.

Carry on, carry on,

Babylon may not fall

As the sentries stand guard through the night

I know it’s out there,

A land that is green,

Untouched by the pleasures of mans misery,

A world we were promised,

A land of our own that calls come to me,

Come to me, and make me whole.”

On the Lake

When I was in Tech School in Texas I wrote a series of flash fiction stories to help pass the time in my last few weeks there, one per day. Along with 'Final Verdict,' 'On the Lake' was one of my favorites from those few. Now, remember, these are FLASH fiction, very short stories I wrote in about five minutes without putting much thought into it, so take it for what it is. Hope you enjoy.

I looked around and saw the sun setting in the distance just behind the tree line. A golden sunset, the color of the autumn leaves as they fell from the trees flanking our neighborhoods streets, reflecting off the surface of the lake.




Yes, a bueatiful sunset, but the glare from the sun blinded my eyes to the danger that lurked just behind its orange hue. Behind the light of the evening sun, in the tree line on the other side of the lake, they lurked and bid their time waiting for the right opportunity to approach. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I'd try to tell myself later as I held the body of my ten year old sister in my arms. There was no way I could have stopped them even had I known they were coming. But that wasn't true, at least not completely true. Maybe I could have done something differently, fought from a position of strength and not of weakness had my eyes not been tired from days with no sleep and hadn't failed to spot the dark shadows moving silently on the far banks of Crystal Lake.



But non of that mattered anymore. It was over. I'd done my best, I really had, no one left in this dying world would dare tell me any different, but in the end I still failed the one person who'd ever trusted me. Now she was dead, her head cracked open, brain matter covering my already bloodstained shirt.



I couldn't stop it, I couldn't stop it, they were too many…. I couldn't stop it.

I lift my eyes from her crumpled body and gaze across the lake where they'd escaped. I can see their webbed footprints in the muddy earth, see the residue of their flaking skin on the rocks that'd had fallen from their bodies as they'd retreated when I found them. If I squint my eyes and stare long enough over the long treacherous waters of the lake, I can barely make out the greenish light of their campfires as they burned the dead skin that came from their bodies. It looked something like the Northern lights, I remember, recalling the trip my family took last summer to Alaska. It seemed so long ago now, I can hardly remember that time. Before the plague, before the mutations began and the adults started to change.



Before the nuclear holocaust turned the skies grey and the earth black.



It was dark now, time for me to lock the doors and windows and hide in the attic with Cara wrapped in my arms, my hands cupping her ears to keep the sounds of their moaning and scratching from keeping her from the sleep she needed.



I give up. No more running, no more fighting. I give up.



I lay down on the soft due crusted grass and closed his eyes ready for the painless death they would give me.

Monsters (movie) Review.

Goodness this movie was a bore. Going into it, I'd heard form friends a lot of good things about it. References to Cloverfield perked my interest, trailers made it seem like a good scare, and the premise is one of those crazy sci fi kinds that I just can't resist, no matter how dumb movies with such premises turn out to be. To say that I was let down by this half hearted attempt at political commentary would be an understatement. Nothing in this movie interested me. Not the characters, the plot, the 'monsters,'after a couple minutes not even the premise interested me. The movie played like a combination between Cloverfield and District 9, two very good movies, but only in atmosphere as the film itself didn't have either the fun of the former, or the smarts of the later.

What a Bore

Allow me to sum this movie up for you. Cool Guy and Insecure Girl need to get out of Mexico back to the states, but can't because they miss the boat. Guy and Girl decide then to walk through the 'infected zone' that's filled with hideous monsters that have been getting the best of the US military for six years now, in order to get to 'The Wall' the American government built to keep all the illegal immigrants out. I'm sorry, did I say immigrants? I meant hideous monsters. However, once they get to the wall, they discover that all these nasty little creatures from Mexico have overrun the boarder (imagine that) and are causing chaos in Texass. But, as Cool Guy and Insecure Girl make a home out of a gas station, they discover that the monsters aren't really mindless killing machines, all they want to do is work, I mean make out (whatever it is they were doing) and just need to be let alone. See, according to the Mexican mercenaries who were supposed to help get Cool Guy and Insecure Girl through the 'infected zone' the monsters don't bother people unless those stinking American's try to bomb them first. Duh. Goodness, how smart of them, useing monsters as an allegory of the immigration issue.



Its not the ham fisted political commentary that really gets me. Its just a mild annoyance really. Its that the movie is EXTREMELY boring. Nothing happens. Remember Cloverfield, where we got to see the monster in question do some pretty cool stuff? You know, knock over buildings, eat people, take down tanks, shed some mini monsters who blow people up? Yeah, none of that happens. We don't even ever get a good look at the monsters until the very end, and when we do, all they do is have a little make out session. Sure, we get to see a few tentacles, a giant arm picks up a truck at one time, and oh I think one sinks an F-15 that was just kinda floating in a river. Cool. Bring out the Oscar.



There's no reason to see this film. Its not fun, its not terribly smart, and there's nothing interesting about it past the plot synopsis on the back of the cover. Don't give it a bother.



Replay value, low.

Final Verdict

It was strange to her, this world she’d come to, how much they took for granted the great treasures that were given to them , treasures that had long ago ceased to exist in her own world. These creatures, these humans, they really had no idea how rare and valuable a thing they had. A working atmosphere, clean air free of poison’s fumes, pure drinking water, all commodities that no longer existed in much of the galaxy. They even had fish, fish, of all things. Not a single fish existed on any of the seven worlds that made up the known universe. They’d been fished to extinction long before the waters they inhabited turned black and uninhabitable.


Yes, this was a very strange world indeed.

She turned to her computer screen, not the clumsy awkward things the people of this planet used with the quaint keyboard and clicker, no, this one was from her own world, a world she left at the behest of her people to investigate this world and report back with what she’d found.



Day seventeen, Omaha Nebraska, General Language Date 1212-9. Earth Date, AD 2009.

Alien Relations Specialist Ketara Helyne-Serial # 1132553.

Weekly Report, sent 1200 central time.

---My findings of the creatures known as humans who inhabit the planet they call earth are as follows.

-Alien military technology remains at a very primitive and quaint level, but remains highly destructive.

-High levels of oxygen in planet’s atmosphere would hinder the capabilities of our fighters who are used to living in much lower levels of oxygen. Human inhabitants capable of breathing and using the high oxygen levels to their advantage, making them highly skilled fighters with athletic capabilities far beyond our own.

- Data suggests that in the case of an invasion the humans would be far more likely to use nuclear weapons in their defense as a means of last resort, despite the damage that would be done to the planet, rather than submitting.

-The human species is divided between more than two hundred governments, thousands of religious, and millions of different political philosophies. At no point in time has the planet ever been united under one government body with one religion; rivalries are common.

--FINAL VERDICT—

I do not suggest an armed invasion of this planet for the following reasons. 1) The great skill human worries posses due to their lungs ability to take in and use much more oxygen then our own. 2) Their willingness to risk destroying themselves in their own defense. 3) The tendency for humans to resist occupations and survive exterminations by their own kind.

---SUGGESTED COURSE OF ACTION---

-Friendly, not hostile. Befriend major government bodies and their respective religious affiliation. Suggested points of contact are, 1) United States Government, capitol Washington DC, religious affiliation Free Religion. 2) Russian Federation, capitol Moscow, religious affiliation Christian. 3) Holey Catholic Church, capitol Vatican, head of Catholic Church.

---Sent to---

Alien Relations Headquarters,

Commander Telerak Henss, Danthem-Quintan

My favorite bands

Sometime a few years back, I was up late one night and saw on VH1 a show about heavy metal and hard rock that would change the way I looked at music forever. It wasn't so much the show itself as the music it convinced me to look into. Before this time, I was kind of a prude when it came to music. Cussing in music made me uncomfortable, Christian music was the order of the day, and the hardest thing I listened to was Skillet, who I still like, but are hardly a metal band. I went out and bought the Black Album by Metallica, and Apatite for Destruction by Guns N' Roses. Though Black Album was just okay to me, AFD blew me away. I was completely stunned by how much I loved that album, and soon after my musical revolution got into full gear. This is a list of the bands I've discovered and the music I've come to love. Enjoy.

1 The Who. This is one band that speaks to my heart and soul every time I listen to them. Without fail, almost all of their music from the loud and exiting Won't Get Fooled Again, to more subtle and introspective songs like Sea and Sand, and then the plain old angry teenager My Generation, The Who is a band for the ages. For and away the best rhythm section of all time, the best live band to ever get on stage (I SO with I could have seen them live), The Who is a band without a flaw. Favorite song Won’t Get Fooled Again.

2. Guns N' Roses. No band that I know of, with the exception of The Who, has more energy in their music than GNR. Appetite for Destruction, along with Who's Next, is my all time favorite album, and who can blame me? With Rock greats like Welcome to the Jungle, Night Train, Sweet Child O' Mine, and Paradise City, there is not a single bad song, or even an okay song, on the whole album. It’s just THAT amazing. Though short lived, GNR took the world by storm before Axle Rose took them into a nose dive. Use Your Illusions I and II were both great, with II being the better IMO. Favorite song, Sweet Child O’ Mine.

3. Metallica. Sure, the Black Album wasn't as good as I hoped, but that was MORE than made up for with Master of Puppets, Kill em All, and Ride the Lightning, with ...And Justice for All being just slightly below these other three. Plus, Death Magnetic is pretty darn good. It took me a while to get into heavy metal but once I did, Metallica stood at the top of the list. Amazing musicianship, amazing song writing and vocals, this is to me at least the best heavy metal band of all time. Favorite song, Mater of Puppets.

4. Megadeth. A good thing Metallica kicked Dave Mustang out of the band, if not then we'd never have Megadeth, and wouldn't that just be a crying shame? Though I've already state my loyalty to Metallica, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Megadeth as well. In fact, I'd say as far as guitar work goes, Megadeth is the BEST I've heard. Favorite song, Tornado of Souls.

5. The Beatles. The Beatles hold the distinct title of the only band with a song to actually bring me to tears every time I hear it in Let It Be. Really, is there any reason to defend my pick of The Beatles as a top five band? The most defending I have to do is, why so low? Why not 2, why not 3, hell, why not 1? Well, it’s a matter of opinion; I just like the four bands in front of it more. That's all. Favorite song, Let it Be.

6. Led Zeppelin. I don't care what people say Robert Plant can freaking sing. Sure, I have found their songwriting pretty disappointing, it’s almost as bad as AC/DC at times, but these guys can play and these guys can ROCK! Immigrant Song, and Rock and Roll top the list of Zeppelin songs for me.

7. AC/DC. Yes, this is a matter of pure tastes and not a statement that these guys really are a top ten band of all time. They have brain dead lyrics, simple riffs, and absolutely no drums or bass. But, hey, they ROCK, they have energy, they have style, and someone has to play AC/DC rock. A guilty pleasure, sure, but a pleasure all the same. Favorite song, Back in Black.

8. Judas Priests. Sing it with me now, "livening after midnight! Rocking till the dawn! Loving till the morning has come, I'm gone!"Favorite song, what else? Living after Midnight.



9. Skillet. The first band I discovered that blew me out of the water. Out of all my bands during my Christian music pre revolution faze, Skillet was by far the best, and still a personal favorite of mine. Favorite song, Whisper in the Dark.

10. Anthrax. The 'fun' band of the 80's thrash metal. Maybe not as musically proficient as Metallica or Megadeth, but not by much. If the two M's make me head bang and get angry, Anthrax brings a big fat stupid grin to my face. Favorite song, Madhouse.

11. Rush. Say what you will about the singing, I like it, and I also happen to think these guys are some GREAT musicians. Took me FOREVER to start to warm up to these guys, but one I did, I never looked back. Favorite song, Madhouse.

Honorable mention.

Dio

Boston

Motorhead

The Rolling Stones.

Alter Bridge.

Black Sabbath.

Iron Maiden.

Switchfoot.

Journey.

Slayer.

Reliant K.

Ballad of Fallen Angels

Witness the ballad of fallen angles


Descending from the heavens

With the radiance of a

Fallen world.

Witness the coming

Of a lost redemption,

Of gods, of glory,

With the evil smirks of demons

And children.

Witness the ballad of fallen angles.