Monsters (movie) Review.

Goodness this movie was a bore. Going into it, I'd heard form friends a lot of good things about it. References to Cloverfield perked my interest, trailers made it seem like a good scare, and the premise is one of those crazy sci fi kinds that I just can't resist, no matter how dumb movies with such premises turn out to be. To say that I was let down by this half hearted attempt at political commentary would be an understatement. Nothing in this movie interested me. Not the characters, the plot, the 'monsters,'after a couple minutes not even the premise interested me. The movie played like a combination between Cloverfield and District 9, two very good movies, but only in atmosphere as the film itself didn't have either the fun of the former, or the smarts of the later.

What a Bore

Allow me to sum this movie up for you. Cool Guy and Insecure Girl need to get out of Mexico back to the states, but can't because they miss the boat. Guy and Girl decide then to walk through the 'infected zone' that's filled with hideous monsters that have been getting the best of the US military for six years now, in order to get to 'The Wall' the American government built to keep all the illegal immigrants out. I'm sorry, did I say immigrants? I meant hideous monsters. However, once they get to the wall, they discover that all these nasty little creatures from Mexico have overrun the boarder (imagine that) and are causing chaos in Texass. But, as Cool Guy and Insecure Girl make a home out of a gas station, they discover that the monsters aren't really mindless killing machines, all they want to do is work, I mean make out (whatever it is they were doing) and just need to be let alone. See, according to the Mexican mercenaries who were supposed to help get Cool Guy and Insecure Girl through the 'infected zone' the monsters don't bother people unless those stinking American's try to bomb them first. Duh. Goodness, how smart of them, useing monsters as an allegory of the immigration issue.



Its not the ham fisted political commentary that really gets me. Its just a mild annoyance really. Its that the movie is EXTREMELY boring. Nothing happens. Remember Cloverfield, where we got to see the monster in question do some pretty cool stuff? You know, knock over buildings, eat people, take down tanks, shed some mini monsters who blow people up? Yeah, none of that happens. We don't even ever get a good look at the monsters until the very end, and when we do, all they do is have a little make out session. Sure, we get to see a few tentacles, a giant arm picks up a truck at one time, and oh I think one sinks an F-15 that was just kinda floating in a river. Cool. Bring out the Oscar.



There's no reason to see this film. Its not fun, its not terribly smart, and there's nothing interesting about it past the plot synopsis on the back of the cover. Don't give it a bother.



Replay value, low.